I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
worst night to have a conscience
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
