'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
