Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
