what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
