We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
