carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
