It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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