Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
