We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
