you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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