You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
lol hangovers are for mortals.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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