I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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