OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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