So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
