were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
smell my finger.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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