I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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