I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
