I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
