his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
