i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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