it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
