i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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