Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
two words...techno handjob
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
