since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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