If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
