You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
