I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
