i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
