I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
