Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
