No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
