I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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