you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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