apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
