she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
