he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
