so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
