We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
