if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
