I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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