My boss' voice literally gives me gas
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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