I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
