4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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