Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
