redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
