She is in my trunk
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
