You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
