i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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