Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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