she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
no, he came in my armpit
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
